Class-Action Lawsuit Filed Against Linus Torvalds

SILLYCON VALLEY -- Nearly 130 former system administrators have filed suit against Linus Torvalds in which they claim Linux cost them their jobs.
Recently several companies migrated from Windows to Linux, increasing their productivity but decreasing the need for a large staff of tech workers, prompting a wave of layoffs.

"The good old days when it required five full-time system administrators to maintain a Microsoft Exchange server are history, all because of that cancer known as Linux," explained the lead litigant in the lawsuit.

"It all started two years ago when some pimply-faced idiot down in Accounting decided to smuggle in a Linux box to automate some of his work.
Before long every tech-savvy person in Accounting, Billing, and Sales was secretly using Linux."

"That's when the troubles started. Productivity soared. Downtime was limited to an average of three milliseconds per day. Macro viruses ceased to spread. It was horrible! The entire IT staff was replaced by one part-time bearded wonder, who was able to administrate the entire Linux network! Due to the layoffs, I'm now sitting in a homeless shelter with little hope to find work. Nobody wants to hire an MCSE anymore!"

"tool"

Definition: instrument used to shape, form, finish

Synonyms: apparatus, appliance, contraption, contrivance, device, engine, gadget, gizmo, implement, instrument, job, machine, means, mechanism, utensil, weapon, whatchamacallit

Credit: thesaurus.com

Tools represent Humanity's greatest achievement -- the desire and the ability to rise above the flesh, to enable each of us to create whatever we imagine. From the ealiest stick, digging out grubs from a fallen tree ... to the latest hand-held, head-held, or mentally-directed device, tools allow us to devise, revise, ruminate, communicate, work and play.

The following sampling are tools developed upon need for one purpose or another...